Hope_Please Wake Up..._

Pain.
Darkness.  

Everything’s blurry and then the world explodes
    into my half-opened eyes.  

Ecstasy as Her voice blossoms in my mind like a trillion explosions,
    or a thousand cannons firing,
    all at once.

My eyelids open a tiny sliver more,
    letting me view her faint outline for one last time
    before I sink back into
    the darkness and the restless sleep.

Black motes float lazily across my vision.

Pain.
Darkness.

How long must I lay here
     in this cursed sleep?

A lingering hand on my forehead,
     smooth silk against burning hot skin.

She whispers once more,
     unaware of my stoic awakening.

Paralyzing pain envelops me,
      every nerve firing at once.
A groan escapes my dry lips.

The whisper rises to a shout.
Her melodious voice once more explodes
     into my mind
     as She unknowingly calls for those who keep me in this
     wretched state.

They come,
     footsteps echoing across my
     consciousness.

How long must I wait before She figures it out?

Frantic clicking
     as the footsteps disappear beside me.

Another wave of pain
    as the numbness resides,
Another groan emitted from between
     my twitching lips.

A finger jerks unsteadily,
     signs of awakening
     from my drugged body.

Did they notice?

A metallic taste- the metal pole
       shoved between my teeth.

One more inch,
      my hand and arm awaken.

The groan becomes a frantic plea to stop
      as a needle is brought out,
      filled with blue liquid.
      
Her voice,
     quieter now,
     gently caresses my ears
     as she puts the pieces together.  

It’s a race against time,
     against the sharp metal curse.
A bright white light blinds me
      as my eyes shoot open,
      startled by the pain of a needle.

The sharp metal and its promise of painful sleep
       find their way into my shoulder,
       spreading fire throughout my neck.

The plea becomes a hoarse shout,
       freezing my face into a grimace of hurt.

So many times I've gone through this,
      each time failing to stop my fate.

The arm jerks uncontrollably,
       knocking a hand from the cold metal syringe.

Too late.

Pain washes over me,
      the waves pushing me further towards
     unconsciousness.
Her face,
      silhouetted against the light,
      worrying just above mine.

The cool silk of her hand
      caresses my burning cheek once more,
      and Her whisper carries me off
       to the cursed realm of restless nightmares.

Her words echo in my mind,
      over and over,
     penetrating the feverish dreams
     brought on by the contents of the syringe.

“I’m sorry.”

Amazement at how much one is aware of
       after such a long period of unawareness
       floods my diminished senses and I fall
      once again
      into agonizing semi-consciousness.

Pain.
Darkness.  

Maybe next time the footsteps will be foiled.
Maybe next time…

I’ll wake up.